When asked about your religion, you reply "Unix."
You think knowing C means you're bi-lingual.
You regard DOS users as misguided.
You regard Mac users as humourous.
You have installed Linux at least three times.
You have installed NT "for laughs."
You think working at Microsoft is degrading.
You regard Mac users as slightly less intelligent than a used tea-bag.
You associate GUIs with computer illiteracy.
You follow software version numbers the way some people follow football results.
You check your mail at least 10 times daily.
You subscribe to mailing lists to to fill your mailbox.
You've fake mailed somebody.
You know what ports 7, 23, 25, 79, 80, 110, etc are for.
You do all your assignments the night before because you were too busy programming to do it sooner.
People mention that you, "always seem to be logged in."
You are always logged in -- at least 3 times.
You've hacked somebody's account.
You have made "free" phone calls.
You know root's password on some system.
You know root's password on some system that isn't your own.
You have told a friend, "the security on this system sucks. Here, let me show you."
All computing activity must take place within easy reach of caffeine.
You've made up a good Microsoft joke.
You can remember your 12-digit passwords, but not your bank card PIN number.
You can pick out a computer conversion a kilometre away.
You have beaten somebody up for saying "information superhighway."
You have also beaten somebody up for saying "Macintosh Computer"
You never leave the house unless forcefully dragged by hydraulics.
Your last girlfriend was on a CD-ROM.
Your homepage has contained the phrase "this web page is still under construction" for several years.
You refer to people who have used the internet for years as newbies.
You drool over computer specs.
You've worn your clothes more than once without washing them.
You never wash your clothes.
You wear glasses or should be wearing glasses.
You have told an engineer joke.
Nobody uses your computer, except for yourself.
Nobody can use your computer, except for yourself.
People have died for using your computer without your permission.
You've done hardware repair over the phone.
You've figured out that the network connection isn't working because of an IRQ conflict while waiting on tech support's hold music (you just wanted to check if their DHCP servers were up).
You've introduced yourself using your e-mail address.
You broke out laughing in Jurassic Park when the girl said, "hey, this is Unix. I know Unix."
You associate Microsoft with computer illiteracy and stupid programmers.
You can count in base 2 and hex, and convert these numbers in your head. Regardless of this, you still can't remember phone numbers unless told at least three times.
Your hard drive is all neatly organized, but everything around your computer is a mess.
You haven't seen sunlight in the last 72 hours.
You run simulations to test Star Trek related technology you are working on.
Everybody thinks you are weird, but you know better. You have the HTML docs to prove it.
You have collected at least 500 computer viruses.
You wrote 50 of your viruses.
You know both AT&T and Intel sytax for writing x86 assembler.
Root has sent you mail asking you what you were doing.
Sys. admins snoop your tty sessions "just in case."
You snoop your sys. admin's tty sessions "just in case."
You wrote your resume in PostScript without an editor.
You never read the manual.
You never comment your code.
Your user documentation is just a print out of the source code with creative commenting.
You send email to people while talking to them on the phone.
You have sent email using a telnet client (to port 25, of course).
You watch idiot's guide to computers television shows just to pick out all the mistakes.
When people engage in conversations with you, you drop buzzwords to test their IQs.
You have turned an English essay into a computer science project.
You always have an ASCII table handy.
You've heard the word backup, but never personally done it.
You have a fond affection for VT100 terminals.
You laugh at people who haven't figured out how to program a VCR.
You laugh harder at people who program in pascal.
You sometimes refer to stupid people as 12:00, 12:00, 12:00..
Computer illiterate people are fodder for your mind games.
You swear and curse like a sailor when you are forced to use an analog modem.
You go into a computer store, and you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
You call tech support for kicks.
You have used emoticons when writing on paper.
You get personalized christmas cards from your ISP.
You remember fondly your times of SysOping a BBS and the people you knew on FidoNet(tm).
You are the unofficial tech support for your business.
You refer to the group of people you help like you would refer to slow children.
You have thought about deploying rubber bullets after another Monday of helping people from the help desk.
You've had to explain the difference between a forward slash and a back slash more than once.
You laugh your head off everytime convential news puts out any kind of computer related story.
While in that groggy fog that happens when the alarm goes off, you dream of typing in stop on the clock and looking for the enter key.
You have your own personal version of The Shelf Where Hardware Goes to Die.
You want to go to Carnegie Melon university, and you know why.
You have an autographed copy of "Why Pascal is Not My Favorite Programming Language," by B. W. Kernighan.
You have a small shrine to B. W. Kernighan and D. M. Ritchie.
You laugh at people who use their birthday/last name/PIN number as passwords while writing nasty email to everyone on their contact lists.
You have personally sought revenge on people who forward things to you.
You have manually patched programs using a debugger because that bug was just too annoying.
You have manually patched programs using a hex editor because you had no debugger.
You have patched programs to add features you wanted.
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