Priceless

While I was driving down the M62 the other day, (going a little faster thanI should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on theother side with a radar gun laying in wait. The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronising smirk, and asked "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'mlate for work."To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.The copper was surprised and confused. "A what?" "A rectum stretcher??" I said."And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" he said."Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole? "To which I politely replied,"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45.00
Look on copper's face ... Priceless....